Living next door to the bathroom

My classroom is right next door to the boys bathroom. This constitutes for two things:
1. smells
2. fights

High school kids love to smoke (well some of them). Some are so addicted they can't wait until after school, or they just think they are so cool that have to do it at school. The problem is.. as teachers.. we cannot turn anyone in for smoking unless we actually see the thing in their mouth and smoke coming out. (which is just so awful). And the kids know this, so as I stand at my door to greet my wonderful children as they come to my classroom to learn I often get a whiff (sp?) of something.. and then it gets much stronger.

Most of the time it is cigarettes or weed, sometimes its the ole black and mild. (This is so awful, but I kinda like the black and mild days.. those don't smell that bad). One day the weed was so potent that myself and a few of my students got a headache!!

Later on in the year the security guard started locking the door, so that helped some, but the poor guys just had to hold it or go to the other end of the building if they actually needed to use the restroom.

ok so on to the fights..
There were three pretty bad fights outside my door this year. One of which the two boys came from my 3rd block class. My students "check" each other, and most of the time no one gets upset. (I am so naive. I didn't really realize what this was until later in the year... my students next year will not be able to do this in class.. its a total disruption) But anyways.. this kid K is small and is all talk... and this kid J is HUGE is all talk as well. I told J to sit down a few times in class but he was "sharpening his pencil" or "throwing something away" so I did not think anything of it. When the bell rang, a few seconds later I hear all this commotion outside my room. Oh its J and K just rolling in the floor hitting each other and everyone with their phones out filming the whole thing! I mean I guess I have to look at it this way... they were polite enough to me to wait until they got outside! I found out it was all planned because K left his book bag in my room right by the door. K called J something and it made J mad so they met after class. J defiantly won the fight though. I really wish I would have stopped it somehow before it started.. but I really do not know how. They were not doing anything out of the ordinary.

The other two were girl fights. One happened with 5 girls before school started. I was in the teacher's lounge (which is a couple doors down from my room) putting up my lunch box. I was about to open the door and walk out when I heard it start. So what do I do? I stand inside the door and just listen and wait for it to be over! My principal told me not to try to break up any fights (I guess he thinks I might get hurt or something haha), so I just listened. The men teachers on the hall had it under control. When I walked out I helped heard everyone to class and then went on to my room. The hall way was full of loose papers and hair weave.

The other one that I can remember was over a boy (isn't it always? haha) Two girls start at it after homeroom. They came out of two different homerooms but met in the middle across from the bathroom. Then another girl gets in to help one of them. One of these girls was one of my track girls (I helped coach the track team this year), and she had JUST been in my room to talk to me! She was just fine, not mad at all. It's crazy to me how people can get SO mad SO fast they just want to rip people apart.